no. 12 - backlog

I had expressed hope to complete my post on marriage at our 2nd month... this later became the 3rd month when life got in the way and we're now currently on track to the 4th and it remains uncompleted.

1-2-3-4 tell me more tell me more?

The past month has been rather epic.

I knew going into July/ early August that it was going to be nothing short of crazy but I didn't anticipate it to be as mad as it eventually became

- 2 family birthdays - the Goh and the Shan mothers

- 3 weddings for which I was on bridesmaid and craft duties for one

- 1 massive funfair for which (a) all proceeds went to the rohingya refugees in Bangladesh in need of shelter and (b) Mark and I had committed to helping over 2 weekends

- 1 harry potter themed hens surprise party for which the sorting hat and butter beers needed to be made

- 1 essay on incoming regulations and amendments

- 1 exam end August which i have yet to study for

& it was nicely rounded off with the surprise of the year - dad having a minor heart attack at the gym while speaking to the head of physiotherapy, discovering that of his 3 arterial veins 1 was 100% blocked another 80% blocked and further blockage in the third, undergoing a triple bypass within a week and me consequently getting very well acquainted with all the SGH entrances/ exits/ carparks and food points over the course of 2.5 weeks.

I find it hard to believe myself that everything on the above list got checked off without any major situations/ catastrophes - well, save for my severe lack of preparation for my upcoming examination.

Not only have they been checked off, I am still alive and well - perhaps less fit and more blubbery than I would like to have ended July with. I am also more grateful than ever for the tremendous support system that I have, an understanding boss who though eccentric at times never batted an eyelid at me disappearing from my desk, and the deep ridiculous vast love that Christ has for me and my family.

Through trials, adversities and frustrations I have been blessed with the immense gift of finding joy in the silver linings and loved ones who may not understand why I put myself through these mad schedules but who were always more than ready to back me up and tie up the loose ends I left behind while running off to my next task.

If not already apparent from the wedding track record, I also have a deep immense love for photos. Even if slightly random and even when I look terrible - there is almost nothing like looking back and remembering that moment amidst all the madness of each day.

Dad is not a particularly religious man but he came out of this ordeal telling me that he was very blessed - he thought about how it could have struck

(a) in the first half of this year and affected the wedding;

(b) any earlier in May/ June and burdened my mum when they were duo-tripping around Europe in May/ June and wandering around Hungary/ Prague/ Germany like two 25 year olds;

(c) any later in August when he and mum were due to jetset off to Africa for a 2.5 weeks wildlife safari trip; and

(d) any later in September/ October when my sister is due to give birth and the household would be fretting over caring for her and the new screaming addition.

While a heart attack and having a triple bypass/ open heart surgery is never ideal, it is indeed arguable that July was perhaps the best time to have it, if any.

Not that it wasn't already apparent, but I also bore witness to my parents' unfailing love and care for one another. Of course each in their own way but no less stark during an ordeal. While my mother's love for dad and humanity in general has always shown through in her conduct and generosity in every way - dad's one was always a little more subtle and often hidden in his frustrations and rants.

4 hours after surgery and while we were in the beeping silence of the ICU, dad held my hand really tightly. He did this again a day later in the busy silence of the ICA, when he told me how sorry he felt for having to see my mum run around and busy herself the way she did and asked if I could make sure that I'd always take care of her - in writing this down, here's to a commitment I must always remember - to never forget the understanding and immenseness of a lifelong commitment.

As dad continues on his journey of recovery post discharge, its not all hands and prayers on deck for him to pull through the post-surgery/ hospitalisation blues and push past the disappointments and slow progress to find the light again. This will likely be hard for everyone, himself no less, but I continue to harbour the same hope that we will all prevail without too much discord.

Despite dad's health scare, July/ early August was also filled with a lot of joy and celebrations that I am eternally grateful for - for the friendships, the opportunity to reconnect and the celebration of love and commitment that I was exceedingly excited to watch my friends make.

its so hard to catch up these days but any occassion to dress up and catch up with these 2 is a great one

Of course, special shoutout to one of my oldest friend's wedding - for which i couldn't have been happier to run around like a headless chicken, sew a sorting hat by my dad's bedside, experiment with car decoration and of course witness my husband in action as basically a secondary bridesmaid extension.

No kidding, Mark has as much experience as me at bridal party duties/ management because he clears his schedule to remain on standby - whether to get me coffee, feed me copious amounts of otah so that I don't get a gastric attack, source for a pair of scissors or act as a filter for my bossiness vis-a-vis poor groomsmen-whom-i-do-not-know and guide them through what I have commanded them to help with.

I mean, is there anything more attractive than a suited up husband walking towards you with a range of nylon coffee options!? I find it hard to believe that anything can be more attractive than this!

Unknown to Gill, she has literally taken me places. We used to walk down King's Road when we were 11 singing Christmas Carols in June, explore the Cluedo map ten times over after exams, obsess over the Harry Potter world and her globe trotting life took me to Washington DC and later, Edinburgh, for Christmas and my first taste of a meatloaf and haggis.

Places doesn't just include the physical or fantastical places we explored in the course of our friendship, but also confronting emotional barriers/ barriers of awkwardness that I had yet to address. On a friendship level, a few years back there had been a fallout within the IJ group over an incident and although everyone had gotten over it soon after, there was an awkwardness that lingered and unbeknownst to Gill - this occasion had given me an opportunity to overcome that awkwardness and I couldn't be happier/ more grateful for it.

As with every wedding, I was also reminded again of how amazing my bridal party, family and friends were in helping mine go on despite the numerous hiccups. Of course, in soppy Val fashion - it also reminded me of how much I loved my own and I continued to harbour hope that, notwithstanding the pain of wedding planning, my friends would love their own too.

so here's to the last 5 weeks and in particular, July/ early August

for being a month that tested my ability to manage and survive a mad schedule of ongoing matters and my husband's ability to live with a slightly mad woman and run after all the loose ends she left behind for him to pick up on.

for being a month of trials, joy, celebrations and a renewed understanding of community.

& for being a month where I experienced a love like no other and a deep immense sense of gratitude for all that I have, that I have experienced and that is to come.

This photo is so ridiculous and I love it so - yet I can't find any legitimate reason to post it. So here it is, in celebration of surviving an epic 5 weeks - here is my celebratory photo

As a note -

31 July was also the feast day of St. Ignatius of Loyola, the namesake of the parish church I have attended since I was well... born ... and that my mum was active in while pregnant with me. Every weekend at Mass, we say the prayer for generosity and this same prayer has inspired so many changes and motivations in my life, that I must leave it here in hope that it likewise inspires someone one day too -

Lord, teach me to be generous

teach me to serve you as you deserve

to give and not to count the wounds

to toil and not to seek for rest

to labour and not to seek for reward

save that of knowing, I do your most holy will.