No. 4 - Wati

Last year I ventured to Geylang Serai with Wati when she one day asked if I was open to visiting the night market with her. Neither Wati nor me like crowds - we don't particularly enjoy outside food which Wati is equally adept at making herself either. I thus concluded that for her to ask, this had to be a must do.

During last year's visit, I learnt one new thing about my helper of 15 years - she likes to eat something known as Chicken Percik. The night market style is a chicken wing that is pierced on what appears to be sugar cane or sth, grilled over charcoal and slathered with an unknown red sauce. It annoyed me greatly that night that I never knew about this before and my poor Wati never got to enjoy it that regularly because her friends are all rather old and don't like visiting the night market, we didn't know of her fondness for this dish and lastly, we all hate crowds.

& so commenced a practice - that I would totter through the Geylang Serai pasar malam with my Wati again this year, last night in particular. As expected, it was hot, crowded and many things terribly overpriced. The hunt for the incredible vadai we tried last year was futile but we tried putu piring and she went home with 3 chicken perciks, a range of satay, otah and a giant cup of thai green milk tea. Later, the drive home was filled with inane conversations we used to have when I stayed with my parents and flopped on the kitchen floor as she cooked or as we squat beside each other for no good reason.

It was a rather spectacular drive.

I should put on record that as of 2018, Wati has been a helper with my family for 15 years. She watched the chubby 13 year old me turn into the scrawny 15 year old I came to be, do terribly at school and thereafter excel miraculously at the final examinations, laze through too many mornings and days, judged my ex-boyfriend, loved my dogs like her own, confided in me as I did in her, revealed her temper and stubborness to the equally stubborn Goh family and fed me like her life depended on it.

Our family has been blessed with both loving helpers and helpers... who really tried our humanity and patience. Mostly though, I remember 3 who stayed with me and loved me through my formative years - Francis, Eva and Wati.

It starts mainly with the backstory of having both my mum and dad work long hours with no one to watch the 3rd kid at home (my mum says I wasn't an accident but a blessing... just 11 years after my eldest sister and 7 years after my second sister).

May I include at this point in time that I have some superhero for a mother who with little education, coming from a family of 9 squeezed into a 1 room flat and a life so hard I'm not sure I would have had the will to live - she by some miracle found her way to the UK in 1983 while pregnant with her second child, got herself certified and started her own business which proceeded to pay for all our education, travels and continues to this day to be the most incredible institution I've come to know. She is also fearless, incredibly loving and generous and for her to think there is no hope for you - you must seriously examine your life and conscience because the matter is serious yo.

I promise my dad will get his own share of rave on Father's day.

so many things wrong with this photo and I couldn't love it more

So my parents had next to no education, we had not very much and the 1997 crisis was not kind to us (they made me believe the second hand car with dubious looking cotton material seats and an engine that made so much noise I was confused was actually a good change), but my parents fought through it and I became what would be known as the "maid child" as they pulled working hours that would put my law practice hours to shame (their non-presence at home changed nothing really. idk how my parents did it but I loved them more than ever despite rarely seeing them).

Francis, Me, My Mother (and her hair), Oli, Sam

Eva, Me, Francis (before she left), Sam, Oli, My mother (probably wondering what on earth I'm crying about)

I remembered little about Francis but she continued to call on my birthday years on just to wish me happy birthday. She might never know this but this loving gesture of hers was one of the first things that led me to believe in the goodness of people, that someone who came to work for us and that I could barely remember would call from Indonesia each year to wish me a happy birthday and ask after me.

Its true, some people were born incredible and placed into our lives to exemplify goodness.

Eva on the other hand was with us for about 11 years and I remember the devastation I felt when she left to go home to get married. She doted on me and I spent most of my days with her. She regularly brought me to visit my mum at her shop, scheduled her life around me and stood by my mum through the good and bad times - unfortunately, times got tough for her after she left us and she resorted to some questionable decisions but for the most part I've been determined to remember her for everything she did for us.

Back to Wati.

As a Catholic, we believe that Christ made the ultimate sacrifice for us by giving up his life for the salvation of the world. Do you know of anyone who would give up their life as willingly for you? I know a number and it may not be Wati but she fearlessly defends me from monstrously sized cockroaches and unknown insects - I think that counts.

Wati came when we were both young and from the little lady who knew little english, only knew how to cook instant noodles and was awfully awfully shy - she has become our 4th sister and both my greatest fear and wish for her is to return to her family and enjoy the fruits of everything she has worked so hard for/ sacrificed her youth for.

Much is said about how helpers go wrong but little is mentioned about the rest of them who give up the better part of their lives/ time with their own family to work with a family - do everything that no one wants to do (ironing - my nemesis), clean up after people who run around with no legitimate reason for not cleaning up after themselves and receive no recognition for everything they do.

There is no glamour to the job and often people hold the view that the helper is not a family member but an employee - that being the be all and end all. I suppose this may be true in different circumstances but I find it impossible to regard our situation in the same light.

so to the lady who loves chicken percik, who has had to endure 15 years of my pitchy home/ bathroom singing and watched me as I made all those good and bad decisions. Thank you for everything - a large part of everything I've done and achieved is an outcome of the sacrifices you've made for us and your undying love and support for us.

Please move to Holland. I can no longer deal with my crappy lunch boxes and peeling mandarins at my desk because i dont have a cut fruit box anymore.